Really Trying to Understand Returns

Trying to truly understand what’s going on here but can’t seem to form any practical conclusions.

Selling personalized items in clothing and I’m starting to see these refunds come in. They aren’t listed under “Manage Returns” and I don’t seem to have any settings for “returnless refunds”. On top of that, these customers aren’t sending their products back. And on top of THAT, these are personalized products and aren’t eligible for return unless damaged or materially different. One instance is to the tune of over $500 from the same buyer purchasing multiple products and Amazon apparently just refunding their order in full, without our involvement. Just getting emails about returns that are being processed.

Filed SAFE-T claims to reclaim the refund due to the fact that 1) these products are personalized and 2) we aren’t getting the items shipped back to us and we also aren’t even involved in the decision-making process. The SAFE-T claims were denied with the following respone “We have denied your reimbursement request for order XXX Why is this happening? You did not use the Buy Shipping Services to ship the item. Reimbursements can only be granted when Buy Shipping Service is used to ship a self-fulfilled customer service by Amazon (CSBA) order.”

Trying to understand what’s going on here and hoping someone can help. How can I be more involved with the returns process to avoid this theft?